roomthily

inky:

The beard-second is defined as the length an average beard grows in one second.

A bottlesworth is approximately equal to a standard bottle of Champagne (0.75 litres), and is designed to allow the use of wine in scientific experiments in the science comedy Look Around You.

Pursuant to a spurt of badinage about how the release of cranial and facial hair through the pores unclutters the brain by relieving it of “follicular surplus,” Underwood arrives at the gist of his thesis: that there is a direct correlation between personal appearance and artistic proficiency and integrity, or what, in the case of the bewhiskered brethren of the literary fraternity, he elsewhere calls “poetic gravity” or beard weight. It might be said, in short, that Underwood’s motto is the beard makes the bard.